Right Direction

I am happy to say that I feel like my getting myself back on track, is taking me in the right direction. I have always felt that this journey is taking me in the right direction, but more so now, than ever before. As most of you know, I am a Weight Watcher. I joined the program in May 2011, and continued on it until I hit my goal weight, in Feb 2012. Some of you know that I left the program, to try it on my own, but what you don't know is why I left.
I left WW online, not only because I felt that I had the tools necessary to do it on my own, but because I honestly got bored with it feeling like a chore. I felt like I was committed to the computer, and the scale. More than that, I felt like it defined me. I felt that even though I could 'eat whatever I wanted to', only in moderation, that when I would 'treat myself', I was mentally beating myself up about it. This was happening a lot, and it started to become a big problem for me. I needed to get myself out of this mentality of feeling like I had 'cheated' on the program, like I wasn't 'allowed' to have a cookie, or some ice cream. For me, thinking like this, and having it happen EVERY TIME I allowed myself a treat, was unhealthier than actually having said treat. Once I stepped away from the program, and away from the computer, I felt a sense of freedom. I knew that I had the tools, and information, I needed to apply the program to my life, without feeling tied down to it, so I did. From Mar 2012 to Aug 2012, I did very good maintaining my goal weight. Of course, I had weeks when the scale would show a 1-2 lb loss, and other weeks would show a 1-2 lb gain. But, that's normal during maintenance. I have to admit that, when those times came that I saw the gain, I would wonder if I made the right decision by leaving the program. It wasn't until the end of Aug2012, that I realized I truly do need the program, not just to maintain, but to keep myself on track for real. I had gained 4 lbs, and it stayed that way for 3 weeks. But, it was MY fault. I was not eating right, or healthily. I had fallen back into old and bad eating habits, and I knew that something had to be done about it. I had talked to my husband about rejoining, and why I knew I needed to, but it was almost like I needed a sign to tell me that I should.
Around this time, my good friend, Krystle from www.myskinnyjeansdreams.com, needed someone to maintain her FB page, while she was on vacation. One of my friends suggested I do it, so I did. During the time I was maintaining her page, I realized the path that I needed to be on, not only for myself, but for others. I went into maintaining the page, as a fresh start. It was exactly what I needed to get me back on track. I was not only inspiring others, but they were inspiring me. I was being told how helpful, wonderful, inspirational, and motivational I was for them, and that I should start my own page. After long consideration, I did, and I am so glad I did.
The day after starting my page, I got a call from a friend of one of my Sister in Laws, a personal trainer. I had only spoken to her maybe twice in a year, so the call came as a surprise. She began asking me if I had ever worked with a trainer, and if I would like to. She then began to tell me that each year, she seeks out someone who is motivated, and inspiring, and just needs that extra umph, to keep at it. I was floored. Not only that, I knew in my heart that this was a sign from above, that every decision I had made, and was making, was the right one. What started as me going to rejoin WW in Oct 2012, changed to me rejoining 3 days after I created my page, because I knew that if I was going to start working out with a trainer, I had to have my diet right. What also was supposed to be a challenge of the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred in Oct, changed to me starting it 6 days after creating my page, because I figured why wait? There was NO reason to.
Since creating the page, I am back in the mindset of wanting to do things healthier, and wanting to help others do the same. I love that so many are on this journey for themselves, as well as on this journey with me. Since rejoining the program, am I back down to 140 lbs, and I plan to lose more, and tone up. Since starting the 30 Day Shred, I can see a difference in my body, strength wise. I am on day 22, and this is the furthest I have ever gotten on it. I am proud of myself, and I have reason to be. There is no reason to put off getting healthy, or maintaining your health. There is no reason to wait. Period. I am now back to a point in my life where sharing my story not only helps others, but it helps me to remember how hard I worked to get to where I am, and how easy it is to fall off track. Weight Watchers works for me, and has for countless others, but I am a firm believer in doing what works for you. When I was on the program the first time, I applied to work for Weight Watchers, and it wasn't until I left from being an active member, that I was contacted about employment. I never took the time to respond to them, because I didn't feel right trying to work for them without being a member. Now that I am back on the program, I have reapplied. I have been contacted for an interview for employment again, and this time, I am going to take the time to find out if it is for me, and where it can go in the future. Second chances are few and far between, and sometimes they don't come around. Luckily for me, they have come back around, so I plan to do all that I can to make the most of it.

How do you handle it?

Sometimes I find myself in trouble over the weekends. Trouble of getting into old eating habits, like eating out, or grabbing food from somewhere, especially when we visit family. It has become such an accustom with them, that it's almost second nature. When we visit, they feel like because they haven't seen us in so long, that they should 'treat us' to eating out, or grabbing food from someplace. For us, we are fine going to the grocery, cooking something, and eating at the house. But, because my family feels as though they 'need to' treat us, it's almost impossible to say no, for fear of hurting feelings. So, when this happens, and we end up at a restaurant, or eating fast food of some sort, I always find myself trying to find the healthiest option on the menu.

 I can honestly say that this is something that I am proud of, because I NEVER used to care about nutrition, or health. We are all human, we all have days when we have no time to cook, and grabbing food is what fits into the day. We all do it, we just don't like to admit it. I'm not perfect, and never claimed to be. I fall into the category of having to stop somewhere for food, because it's fast and easy. But, instead of fries, I opt for either no side, or fruit. Instead of a combo meal, I simply get a sandwich, and have water. I have learned that even in times of needing what's fast and easy, you shouldn't compromise your health. And, yes I know that even with going through a drive thru, of someplace is not considered 'healthy', I am in a way compromising my health, I'm at least doing it the healthiest way I can, by opting for other, more nutritious options. 

So, what I'm curious to know is, how many of you find yourselves in this position, be it with family, dealing with needing what 'fits' into the day, or simply because the weekend is upon us? How do you handle it? 

Create a new ending

"Although we cannot go back in time, and create a new beginning, we can start over, and create a new ending."

A friend of mine posted this quote today, and it is so true. So many of us, wish we could just go back and start all over. Really, there is no reason to go back and do so, when you can start over today. You can't help where you came from, or how your story or journey began, but you can rewrite it, and make a new ending. Each day is a new day to start fresh, and to try something new. No matter when you start, or how you start, all that matters is that you start somewhere.

Take each day as it comes. Work towards a new you, and new ending, at the pace that works the best for you. Only you know what will, and won't, work for you.

Each day is a new chance to create a new you. It's up to you to decide what day you will do that.

Gaining Control

This blog is not only a tribute to my life as a mother of 2, but also as a mother who has experienced weight gain and loss, and my journey as a Weight Watcher.

When I was pregnant with our first son, I gained 55 pounds. I started out my journey being pregnant for the first time at 150 lbs in September 2008, and ended it at 205 lbs in June 2009. I struggled with losing the post-baby weight, like many Moms do. I never "felt like" doing what I needed to do, because it was easier to do, well, what was easy. It was easier to eat all the wrong things, and not care because I was already overweight. This attitude did not help me through the Holiday season, and the little weight I did lose, came right back. I topped out at 211 lbs the month that our son  turned 7 months old. 

That hit me hard. I was bigger than I was when I was 9 months pregnant, only this time, pregnancy wasn't the reason, my bad eating habits were. I had scheduled an appointment to see my doctor, and she put me on an antidepressant to help control my hunger, and to help me with my stress and depression. I was on it for almost 6 months, and it helped. 

Once I began to feel like I had control, and was ready to take charge and lose weight, I came off the medication, and began working out and walking. I noticed a lot of change in my attitude, but very little change in my weight, and couldn't figure out why. Around this time, our son was turning 14 months old, and we found out that I was pregnant again. With that said, the exercising stopped. 

With my second pregnancy, I started out at 180 lbs in August 2010. I vowed that I would not let my eating get out of control, and that I would eat healthier this time around, because I did not want to struggle anymore than I was already going to with the weight loss, once I delivered the baby. When I had our second son, I was 209lbs in May 2011, and I had only gained 29 lbs my entire pregnancy. Although I was once again over the 200 lb mark, I was proud that I had done things the way I said I would. 

Throughout my entire second  pregnancy, I kept seeing the Weight Watchers commercials, and I told my husband that once I had the baby, I was joining. 3 weeks after having him, I did just that. I was very skeptical. I did not want to pay money into something, if I wasn't going to see real results. But I thought to myself, "What do you have to lose?" 

I'll tell you exactly what I had to lose, unwanted and unnecessary weight. 

My starting weight was 182 lbs, on May 20th, 2011. 

My first week on Weight Watchers, I lost 5 lbs. The morning of my weekly weigh in, when I saw that I had lost 5 lbs, I knew that I had made the right decision for myself. 

Although I struggled with learning the program, and learning how to track everything, I struggled the most with learning how to change my eating habits. Over the course of the following month, it got easier to make healthier choices, and now it is even easier.

 I no longer drink soda, I drink water. I no longer eat sweets, and IF I do, I make sure not to let it control me, and I keep myself from over indulging. The thing that I LOVE the most about the program, is that you are not restricted to being on a diet. You can eat WHATEVER you want, only in moderation. Portion control is key. Eating healthy, and making healthier decisions is key. Since being on the program, what I have learned, will stick with me for life. 

Since joining the program, I have lost a total of 71lbs, 44lbs of that weight lost, was while on the program. 

I am officially smaller than I was on the day I got married. 

I am now back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, and single digit jeans.

I am now back to the confident, happy woman I was.

I am now the woman who has control over her weight. 

It makes me so happy to finally LOVE myself for who I am, and how I look in the mirror. My reflection of myself is so important to me, because it's the same reflection that others see. 

It's the same reflection that my husband and our children see, and they love me no matter what. With that said, if I find myself having an "off" day, or feeling a little less confident, I go to the mirror and ask myself, "What's not to love?"